Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
