Are we in a gay sports bar?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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