I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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