so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bring me that man meat
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
