"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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