i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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