I want to stick my p in your. b.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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