so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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