I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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