everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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