i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
