There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
