how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
