drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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