i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
