Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
