i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
