i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
