i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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