I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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