Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
