I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
