I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize