Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Boobs are out for the taking
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The ass gains better be worth it
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