my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
