I love black thongs
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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