It's Friday. Sex?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
