WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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