Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
