There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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