This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
They are going to name an STD after you.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
