I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize