Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize