She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
