I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
