So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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