Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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