I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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