similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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