I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
3 2 1 whiskey
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
