I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize