So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
