What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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