Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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