I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
