This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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