Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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