Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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