I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize