she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Randomize
