I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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