my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
