i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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