it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
