As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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