We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
