You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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