Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
