I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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