butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize