wakey wakey hands off snakey
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
