NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
