Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
