woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
