So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
