I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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