Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
