my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
