Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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