I cannot find my penis.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize